How Far Will They Go?

A major environmental transformation is planned for Angle Lake.

The Seattle Southend Regional Tourist Authority has recently been granted authorization to fund a 4.1 million dollar initiative aimed at encouraging Sea-Tac visitors to spend more of their time in the SeaTac area. The goal is to emphasize the natural beauty found in the region with the campaign directing tourist attention toward Angle Lake. 

In recent years, the City of SeaTac has completed a series of capital improvement projects targeted at enhancing the public space at the west end of Angle Lake, including the addition of a nature trail connecting the former Hughes Property into the park system and replacement of the children's play equipment. The 4.1 million dollars approved will fund a monumental effort aimed at improving the quality of the lake itself.

The latest phase headed up by the Tourism Bureau is expected to transform the lake from the current dark and dank gray condition to a sparkling bright blue, generating a feeling of a more comforting and inviting ‘outdoor pool’ experience for users of the lake. “While there are several indoor pools available in our area, what SeaTac lacks is a nice outdoor swimming facility” states Ima Schlemiel, Destination Development Committee Representative “We are confident that by transforming the environment of Angle Lake from a dingy, muddy, morose body of water into a brilliant azure basin filled with fresh clean water – people will travel from all corners of the globe to witness its brilliance and shall be compelled to stay within SeaTac to experience this wonder instead of opting to travel to that smelly ole’ waterfront of Seattle.”  

 

Acting in collaboration with the Southend Agency, the plan calls for staff from the Washington State Department of Natural Resources to engage in the effort by corralling all species of fish to the west end of the lake where the fish will be transferred into containment tanks for the purpose of relocation to nearby lakes in Burien and Federal Way. Once the waters are cleared of aquatic life, the team will then begin the process of draining the lake so that the lakebed is exposed and may be cleared of all vegetation and debris and replaced with a bright blue "non-toxic, and environmentally friendly" aquatic sealant to be applied to the lake bottom surface. The final action will then be to refill the lake with filtered, ionized treated fresh water for ultimate brilliance.  The entire process is expected to be completed prior to the annual 4th of July festivities this summer. 
   
In celebration of the completion of this momentous occasion, the Tourism Agency will offer "Angle Lake Turquoise Blue" paint samples to people visiting the lake so that they can take the SeaTac color back as souvenirs to their own home towns.

"This is our gift to the community of SeaTac and to promote tourism to our area” Uri Kidder, Seattle Sourthend RTA Director proclaimed “We will all have to do our part to make sure this lake remains beautiful. I’m just happy I can say I was a part of this initial effort and I hope my own great grandkids will consider doing the same in a hundred years from now”.

(Postscript:  This is an April Fools Joke)
To view other shenanigans from the past decade click HERE

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this a joke? They’re really going to drain the lake?

Anonymous said...

This is the greatest project SeaTac City Council has taken. I now know that the City Council is spending our Tax Dollars in the best way possible. We are painting our front lawn a very bright red and our house a very glossy white and hopefully all the Lake residents will follow suit and support this wonderful project. The blue lake with red lawns and white houses will blend right in to our 4th of July celebration. God Bless AMERICA and enjoy the April showers.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Good one guys!!